


Book Blurbs

by Oshun



Category: TOLKIEN J. R. R. - Works & Related Fandoms, The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien, The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Digital Art, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-04
Updated: 2017-03-06
Packaged: 2018-09-28 04:40:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10072142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Oshun/pseuds/Oshun
Summary: These blurbs are written by a reader who is on the mailing lists of far too many publishing companies. Why not use some of the dozens of prompts of yet another annual B2MeM to design covers or ads, write ad copy, review, or draft summaries of books I would not be likely to write?





	1. Swan Ships

What happened after the destruction of the shipping industry of his home town? Would all hope be lost? Or would the upheaval usher in a new area of prosperity and innovation? Find out in the new novel Swan Ships.

  
[](http://imgur.com/6MlzZWH)


	2. Who Killed Námo?

The wacky and wonderful P.I. team of Ingwë, Finwë, and Elwë are faced with their most challenging case yet. Who did not want to knock off Námo?

 

Túrin Turambar adds another darkly atmospheric and hilarious thriller to his popular _The Realm of the Valar_ mystery series.

[ ](http://imgur.com/rhbH6Lu)


	3. The Colors of Our World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Powerful High King Fingolfin receives word that their unified kingdoms are once again under attack. Will saving the Noldor from the fierce onslaught of Morgoth prove more daunting even than bringing together its restive elements?

[](http://imgur.com/RvtNckE)  
  
  
[](http://imgur.com/52MpU9F)


	4. Noldor – book news

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 4 – Noldor - Tea & Books Tirion’s largest bookseller is unable to meet demand for sensational new novel. Some call it slander, some call it art, and still others claim that under the sensationalism lies a blatantly political bias.

_Noldor_ – book news  
[](http://imgur.com/hvxaOpl)

Bestseller _Noldor_ contains incontinent alcoholics, sadistic brutes, depressive whiners, sex addicts, and greedy sociopaths. Some call it slander, some call it art, and still others claim that under the sensationalism lies a blatantly political bias. Not surprisingly, a few families most harshly dealt with in the book tried to halt publication. “It’s too much,” said Arafinwë Finwëan. “Most of it is not even true.” _Tirion Herald Tribune_.

Accordingly to a spokesman of the District Court of the Western District of Valinor, the book has already generated a plethora of lawsuits. “The publishers of _Noldor_ were warned by the concerned parties, but ploughed on regardless. When novelists base their characters on real people, trouble tends to follow. However, this kind of case rarely makes it to court.” _The Jurist_.

Intercepted at the stage door of another sellout performance of his new rock opera and asked about the new book sensation _Noldor_ , Macalaurë Fëanárion said, “You know what they say! For an artist, any publicity is good publicity.” _Indie Music News_.

She's wise and glamorous and doesn't have time for trashy novels filled with gratuitous sex scenes and gossip. Queen Indis professed to be unworried by the sales of _Noldor_. “This will all blow over in time. These things always do.” _Profiles in Style_.

King Finwë seemed unruffled today by questions about the novel _Noldor_. “It is only a novel, which means it is intended as fiction. And the writer is not willing to acknowledge authorship. I have far more important things to worry about, like the critical issues in education today which we called this press conference to discuss.” _Valinor News Today_.


	5. Bird Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 5 – Bird Talk - Known for his popular TV show “Shut Up and Listen,” specialist in bird behavior from early childhood Turko Fëanárion insists that his methods work with the most resistant birds and the clumsiest of humans. Get all the details in this water-resistant 100-page paperback guide.

[](http://imgur.com/LGZ2wbb)

[](http://imgur.com/Cr1NmSm)

Bird photo in public domain.


End file.
